My Mother has passed

My mother died last night in New Zealand.
Both my brother and I wish we could truly mourn and that we could celebrate her life. Sadly we cannot.
I find the genre of childhood misery confessions books tasteless in the extreme and I have no intention of writing anything like that. All I want to say is that not everyone who is capable of giving birth is capable of mothering and this most certainly applies to our mother.
There are good things that came from such a childhood.
Both my brother and I had no second thoughts at all about leaving home. Had we been raised by a loving and caring mother there is a chance we could still be living in Hamilton.Sorry Hamilton but not a nice thought. We both used education as a means of escape. Both my children value education as well and this gives me such happiness.
Secondly I am grateful to all the people throughout my life who have shown me kindness, generosity and by example how to be a good person. I do not know what would have happened to me had I not known such people especially during my teens and young adulthood.
Finally my main coping mechanism as a child was, at the risk of sounding crude, to grab happiness by the balls. To relish every moment of happiness life offered. Trust me this is a pretty good if simplistic way to live.
For Halachic and personal reasons there will be no Shiva or anything resembling one but if anyone wants to join me for tea served in my nicest cups from the silver teapot please do.

Dublin

I had forgotten what a magical place Dublin is. It is small enough to be able to explore by walking and has maintained a sense of history that Starbucks and McDonalds have not completely destroyed.
But what is really special is the use of language. I spent most of the day wandering around and got into long conversations with total strangers-people in shops, in the National Library and on the street. Total strangers, all day.
It makes you realise why Ireland has produced far more writers of note than is to be expected from such a small population. People talk for the sheer joy of it. Conversation flows lyrically and rhythmically from topic to topic.
Come to Dublin walk and talk.

My son

My son has a intern.

My son is 21 years old and he has an intern. He works in a part time job for an internet company.

He is in his third year at University reading psychology when he is not working. He, of course on his way to a first. He got well about the class average in all his courses last year

My son was also really really good at being a challenging teenager.

He had a fabulous teacher at school who told me my son had been a lovely child and would be a lovely adult. He was and he is.

6am wake up

I am really annoyed with myself. Working as a Social Worker I was a powerhouse of efficiency. Yet now I knit commissions and study knitting design I have lost my efficiency. Basically I have not been such a good worker for myself. 


People life changed today. My daughter started work and I have the house to myself. So I jumped out of bed at 6am-well 6.15 and got going. I am now on a roll and feel really pleased. Yesterday went past in a fug of disorganisation, not helped by getting up at 3am to watch the All Blacks World Cup game and then going back to bed. By contrast everything I wanted to do yesterday will be done by lunch time. 


The thing is that knitting takes time and I need to make that time.


I mentioned that my daughter has work. She is home for a year after 3 years in the IDF and prior to going to Hebrew U. She had a month at home last year and the year before and got casual work with the greatest of ease. She has work as a Nanny but it took 8 weeks to find. It seems now any job for a young adult is good. I know how hard it has been for my kids in periods of unemployment and it has never been long term. The profound and long term damage that long term unemployment   brings to young adults frightens me.